How can I stop touching myself?!?!? – WE ARE SCIENTISTS
We received this troubling email from Luke last week. Or any idea what I can do? For devices, Luke, few things rival that age-old prohibitor of joy, the chastity belt. As we now know, this simply caused a genetic preference in our species for men with snaky, flexible penises that can turn corners before penetrating — nothing could be more obvious or expected to the modern eye, but in those dark early years it was as miraculous and sought-after an appendage as ever mutated its way into existence. Of course, chastity belts remain wonderful impediments to self-stimulation, and you should by all means employ one if your wardrobe will allow it.
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Years later, most of the completed footage, of spectacularly vicious car crashes, was compiled as a short film and released on DVD. We all know about the sad accidental death of actor Heath Ledger from a fatal cocktail of prescription drugs, but that was months after filming wrapped on this cinematic masterpiece. Though the driver of the car escaped entirely without injury, Conway Wickliffe suffered severe head trauma and died at the scene of the accident. The film is dedicated to his memory, as well as that of Heath Ledger.